Useless

Sidewalk cracks and silver rain
I count the steps just to feel sane
Storefronts blink, then disappear
Reflections I don't wanna hear
I passed our street, I didn't stop
Just let my thoughts keep rising up
You needed more than I could give
And I don't know what sorry is

I carry silence like a stone
And wonder if you're better off alone

'Cause I was useless, trying to be brave
But I was just folding every time you gave
You held the match, I brought the flame
Then blamed you when it burned the same
I never knew how much you broke
'Til I stood out here in your coat
Drenched in the rain
Feeling useless again

A taxi passes, splashes past
A fleeting life I couldn't grasp
Your voice still rings from weeks ago
The kind that echoes, soft and low
I said I'd change, I swore I tried
But truth is something I still hide
You gave me pages, I stayed blind
Afraid of what I'd even find

I want to call, but what would I say?
"I'm still the same, just lost today"?

'Cause I was useless, hiding in plain sight
Wearing a smile just to dodge the fight
You begged for more, I shut it down
I made you feel like you'd just drown
And now I walk through this regret
With every word I can't forget
Drenched in the rain
Feeling useless again

Maybe you're laughing, maybe you're fine
Maybe I'm nowhere close to your mind
But I still see you in everything
Even now, when I've lost my wings

I was useless, that's the truth I see
Every time the night comes swallowing me
You gave me chances, all I did was wait
I showed up broken, I left too late
Now I'm just someone you outgrew
And honestly, I'd leave me too
Drenched in the rain
Still useless
Without you